lulz tumblr
So I haven’t posted in a long time. A looooooooong time. In this time, I have learned:
The pancake is more difficult than it seems.
Last week in Corona
I’m not a perfect person. I have my demons, my skeletons in the closet and whatnot. Safe to say I’ve made more than my fair share of enemies in my life, and I have paid dearly at their hands at times. I’m so goddamn sick of this town. Courtesy is dead and no one gives a flying fuck about anyone here. It’s all about how many friends you have, how many pictures you’ve posted up, how much you party, who is fucking who and who you’re not supposed to hang out with because nobody hangs out with them for whatever reason. Call this statement a stretch if you want, but it happens, and it happens a lot. High school is the world’s dry-run at trying to be “adult”, and a sad attempt at that.
What designates adulthood anyway? The thin line in between has been smeared, for our era at any rate. It’s definitely not your age. Maybe that’s the circumstance for Jewish boys, but not for the rest of us. Adults aren’t the only ones doing adult things anymore; they give out contraceptives in middle school for Christ’s sake. Personally I believe you reach adulthood when you find your calling in life. When you realize what matters and what doesn’t, and you plan your life around that. And quite frankly I haven’t met anyone our age who has got all this shit figured out. So don’t tell me you’re any better than the next person, because we are all pretty fucking clueless.
I think I’m ready for my clean start at UCI.
And yet, I am completely unprepared.
Such a weird feeling. I met so many genuine people during my 18-year stay here. People who have helped me through the roughest of times. People I would dive in front of a bullet for. Genuine people who I have just met in the past year, and literally in the past month or two who I will be leaving soon, never knowing the full extent of the kind of relationship that could have taken place. Places left unvisited, jokes never told, love that will never be… these are all things we take for granted because we believe there will always be a tomorrow to do the same old things with the same old people in the same old places, and fix what mistakes we have committed in the past. Never once did I stop to think about where all this time was going. For the most part, I really just lived for the moment. And now that it’s almost gone, all I can do(or choose to do) is think, and berate myself for pissing it all away. Time really zips by, and it will pass you up regardless of whether you choose to sit down or run after it.
Despite all the bad in Corona, there is so much good, found and undiscovered. It’s a virtue to be able to leave it all behind.
